Wednesday, April 29, 2009



Guilt signifies when we did something wrong and helps us to be accountable for it. Thus, the bad feeling we identify as guilt, is a gift- one that teaches us what to not to do wrong doing again. To feel guilty because of what others believe as "wrong or bad" is waste of energy and time. Insist on feeling guilty when a real mistake has been made. Cast aside "guilt trips" as they are judgments of right and wrong and someone else's mandate to feel bad. However, own your mistakes and make your guilt a sweet reminder of your human vulnerability. Let your self feel bad only long enough to grow and learn from your mistake.


These are a few saying I wrote over the years:

Don't work so hard to get people to like you. Instead, work hard to become your true and authentic self. People will like you for who you really are, not the person you are trying so hard to be. Stuart Smalley (aka Al Franken) had it right: "You really are good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people will like you!"

In marital or relationship therapy, often the two main goals are to first "fall back into trust" and then "fall back into love." To be in love again requires the foundation of trust to be rebuilt.

Life is like an unfinished puzzle: we are unable to see the complete picture until the seemingly random mismatched pieces come together, creating something whole out what was once chaos and disarray.

Depression can be a natural result of being honest with a feeling.

After healing occurs (hard work in therapy for instance), it is difficult to go back to where you started. It would be like turning a diamond back into a piece of coal. I can't happen.

Therapy is like a train ride: to get to where you need to be, you have to stay on track. With each "stop," you are brought increasingly closer to your desired destination. If a train could jump forward from point A to point G, then it would be a plane. Don't be in a hurry, take a train.

You cannot get back what you lost. But you can create what didn't have.

When you are happy while life is tough, then you are living a worthwhile life.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Communicating Well with Your Teen Presentation (download)

I have uploaded the audience handout for my training at Stevenson High School on April 3o, "Communicating Well with Your Teen." Also up loaded in the complete version of the training, which will be used at a future time, when there is more time.

This link will take you to the document:

Training Document

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Stevenson High School Presentation: Communicating with Your Teenager

On Thursday April 30, Hal Fillian and myself (both from Arbor Counseling Center) will be presenting "Communicating with Your Teenager" to an audience of 75 parents at Stevenson High School. The presentation will start at 8:30am and last for an hour and half. To register, call Lisa Franz of Stevenson High School: (847) 415-4000