2010 Trainings

On October 27, 2010, I will be a part of IOADAPCA'S 2010 Fall Conference. I will be presenting a 3 hour training entitled: Entangled by the Web: Sex, Romance, Porn and Fantasy Addiction. This training will be similar to the July 23, 2010 training, except that it will include information about virtual reality and online gaming addiction. More information will be forthcoming.


On Friday, July 23, 2010, I will be providing two half day seminars (3 CEU's each): "Ethics in the 21st Century" and "Internet Addiction" at Prairie Heart Institute, 619 E. Mason Street, Springfield, IL. The "Caught in the Internet Web, Complications of Internet Relationship and Romance Addiction" training will be video taped and later available on DVD through AATP. For more information click on this link: AATP Training

Ethics in the 21st Century
The emphasis of this seminar is on professional ethics for the therapists that focus on the clinical relationship between counselor and client. Issues of counselor self-awareness and the health of the therapist will be addressed as well the issue of the range of one's competencies. Newer ethical challenges therapist's face due to the new media will discussed -- texting, emailing, voicemail messages, social networking sites, and on-line counseling all raise new ethical concerns and these issues will be explored as well

Caught in the Internet Web, Complications of Internet Relationship and Romance Addiction
This training will emphasize various forms of Internet Addictions or Internet Addiction Disorder. Cybersex, Romance, Internet Dating, Internet Affair, Virtual World, and Social Networking (Facebook) addictions will be explored. Demographics, statistics, addictive processes, diagnostic criteria, are other areas that will be emphasized. This training will be video taped and later available on DVD through AATP.For more information click on this link: AATP Training. To register contact AATP (217) 787-9321.

Assessment and Treatment of Sexual Addiction
On May 14, 9:00 am I presented a three hour (3 CEU) training in Hoffman Estates at Alexian Brothers Behavioral Center for Professional Education on "Assessment and Treatment of Sexual Addiction." Information covered in this training included: introductory clinical information regarding sexual addictions, signs, symptoms, and levels of sex addiction. Statistical, demographic, and gender specific information was presented. Topics also covered were concurrent addictions, co-morbid mental illnesses, and 12-Step information. Assessment and Treatment information was the primary focus.

Online Communication Addiction

Here is an outline for a part of a training that I will be doing in the future:

ONLINE COMMUNICATION ADDICTION

Email Addiction
• The “bell” of Pavlov got replaced by “you’ve got mail” of AOL
• 2005 research: there are 190 million e-mail users worldwide
 6 percent of them could have some form of e-mail addiction
 Approximately 11 million e-mail junkies
• According to AOL Mail’s fourth annual Email Addiction Survey (2008)
 - 46% of email users said they’re hooked on email
 - 51% check their email four or more times a day
 - One in five said they check their email more than 10 times a day.
 - 20% of users said they have over 300 emails in their inboxes!
 - 27% are so overwhelmed they’ve declared “email bankruptcy”
* Deleting all their email messages to start anew.
- 24% signing up for a new email address.
 - 69% of email users have multiple email accounts
 - 62% of at-work email users check email over a typical weekend
 - Nearly 1 in 5 (19%) check email 5 or more times in a weekend.
 - More than 50% check their email while on vacation.

o It’s even higher among mobile users
 - 23% check their email as soon as they wake up
- 11% check their email when they get home from work (11%)
- Right after dinner (9%).
 - 16% said they check their email from a mobile device
 - 41% of mobile email users keep phones near them when they sleep
* So they can hear when a new email comes in.
- 49% of mobile email users check email when a new message arrives.
- 60% have never gone more than 5 days without checking email
- 17% can’t go more than one day without email.
- 11% hide their email behavior from their spouse or family member.

• Signs of Email Addiction
- Checking e-mail more than once an hour.
- Looking at every message that comes in,
as it comes in, either at or away from the office.
- Needing to respond to messages instantly or within minutes of arrival
- Interrupting real, in-person activities to check e-mail.
- When E-mail has, in some way, interfered with regular life activities
- Sleep loss, relationship troubles, stress

o Other Types of Online Communications
- Chat Rooms
- Instant Messaging
- Video Cam
* Skype
 - $153 million in revenue 2009
 - 445 million subscribers
 - 23.6 billion skype-to-skype minutes in Q1, 2009
• Stickam
 - Live-streaming video
 - Featuring both professional and user-generated content
• Chat Roulette
 - An updated version of an old-school chat room
 - Randomly matches people up for video, audio, & text chat
 - By clicking "next" and another randomly selected user appears
 - Most “chats” last only a few seconds.
 - About 35,000 people online at any given time
 - 1.5 million users

Facebook Addiction

A very interesting CNN video on Facebook Addiction:


Equally interesting news articles:

Five clues that you are addicted to Facebook

An excerpt:
You know you're a Facebook addict when ...
1. You lose sleep over Facebook
"If you're staying up late at night because you're on Facebook, and you're tired the next day, Facebook may be a compulsion for you," Lipari said. "You shouldn't be neglecting yourself because of Facebook."
2. You spend more than an hour a day on Facebook
Pile says it's hard to pinpoint exactly how much is too much time to be spending on social networking.
"I can't imagine that anyone would need more than an hour a day on Facebook, and probably no one needs more than 30 minutes," she said.
3. You become obsessed with old loves
Reconnecting with old friends is one of the great attractions of Facebook, and there's nothing necessarily wrong with "friending" an old boyfriend or girlfriend. But Pile warns that it can get out of hand very quickly.
"One of my clients met up with an old boyfriend on Facebook. They started spending hours and hours into the night talking to each other on Facebook. She made some really inappropriate comments about how unhappy she was in her marriage," Pile said. "Her cousin saw the comments and told her parents, and the parents told the husband, and now they're in the process of getting divorced."
4. You ignore work in favor of Facebook
"If you're not doing your job in order to sneak time on Facebook, you could have a real problem," Lipari said.
5. The thought of getting off Facebook leaves you in a cold sweat

Facebook Syndrome, 8 Ways to Beat Your Facebook Addiction

An excerpt:
Facebook Syndrome: How to tell if you are an internet addict
Before we start you need to find out if you are an addict. Once you have admitted to yourself that you are addicted to your favorite website we can go about giving you some solutions for that problem. Here are some surefire signs that you are addicted:

1. You are late for meetings because you are on Facebook
If you ever late for a meeting or an appointment because you were checking your updates on Facebook or watching a related video on Youtube then you know you are addicted. This is classic addict behavior. It is time to get help.

2. You think about it when you are offline
I have several friends who struggle to get to sleep because they are thinking about the latest game or wondering how their website statistics are looking. If you do this then it could be a sign that you are heading towards a problem.

3. Your friends and family comment on your excessive internet use
When other people around you start to notice that you have a problem it is generally a pretty accurate indicator that you are losing it. If your mates, coworkers or family members have made comments about how much you use the net then you need to read the rest of this post.

4. You check your accounts from your Blackberry
A Blackberry is designed as a business tool. It is supposed to allow you to check your important emails and work materials without having to be in the office. It is not for checking Facebook or Myspace updates while you are having dinner with me. That is just not on. If you use your Blackberry for monitoring your social media accounts then you need help.

5. You get stressed when a Facebook “friend” doesn’t add you
Have you ever noticed yourself getting stressed over something that has happened on Facebook or Myspace? Do you ever feel like your online life is more real than your offline life? If you have been stressed about what rapper you turned out as or what magic egg someone sent you then it is time to open your eyes

New Website! http://www.help4sexualaddiction.com/

I am in the process of publishing a new website. This site (CLICK HERE) is being designed to represent my addictions work, with an emphasis on sexual addiction and sexual co-addiction. Although it is "under construction" please take a look and let me know what you think.

2010 Trainings

On May 14, 9:00 am I will be providing a three hour (3 CEU) training in Hoffman Estates at Alexian Brothers Behavioral Center for Professional Education on "Assessment and Treatment of Sexual Addiction." For more information click on this link:
Click Here: Alexian Training

On Friday, July 23, 2010, I will be providing two half day seminars (3 CEU's each): "Ethics in the 21st Century" and "When the Web Entangles You: Internet Addiction" at Prairie Heart Institute, 619 E. Mason Street, Springfiled, IL. The "Internet Addiction will be video taped and later available on DVD through AATP. For more information about these trainings,
Click Here: AATP

2009 Trainings

Now that the final training of 2009 is completed, I can rest! I must say, this has been a lot of fun for me. Although I have worked hard on writing/preparing, the positive feedback from the classes/trainings were very inspiring and motivating.

In 2009, I providing three professional trainings on Sexual Addiction: August 7th, September 25th, and November 13, 2009. Although the trainings were oriented for mental health practitioners seeking continuing education credits (CEU's), they were also designed to be informative for the general public. Topics included: signs and symptoms, behavior types, levels of addictions, demographics, gender differences, cross addictions, co-sex addiction, assessment, and treatment of individuals with compulsive sexual behaviors and/or sexual addictions.

The August 7, AATP, training was on "Compulsive Sexual Behavior and Sexual Addiction. It was at Christ Hospital in Oak Lawn IL was a great success. I received favorable feedback and plan to continue with the message: this is a very important topic to understand as well as an under-served and under-recognized population that needs help. AATP is a not-for-profit training academy established to provide professional continuing education for mental health practitioners. To contact AATP (click on this link or go to http://www.aatpofillinois.com/.

On September 25 Arbor Counseling Center hosted a similar training, but only for three hours (3 CEU's). The training was at Indian Trails Public Library, 355 Schoenbeck Rd., Wheeling IL.

On November 13, Alexian Brothers Behavioral Center for Professional Education hosted 2 hour (2 CEU) training on Sexual Addictions: An Introduction. The training was posted on their websit: http://www.alexianbrothershealth.org/services/abbhh/professionaleducation/professional-education-programs.aspx

I am anticipating further trainings in 2010. Some of the topics I am considering include: ADHD, Codpendency/Co-Addictions, and/or Treatment and Assessment of Sexual Addiction.

Signs of Sexual Addiction

Signs of Sexual Addiction (Based upon Patrick Carnes work)

1. Loss of Control
• Out of control sexual behavior predominates
• The addicts cannot control the extent, duration and regularity of his/her sexual behavior
• Behavior excesses continue despite clear signs of danger (consequences)
-- Compulsive masturbation
-- Compulsive pornography use
-- Chronic affairs
-- Exhibitionism: intrusive "flaunting/showing"
-- Dangerous sexual practices, i.e., asphyxiation
-- Prostitution
-- Anonymous sex (at porn shops, bars, etc.)
-- Voyeurism: intrusive "watching"

2. Continuation Despite Consequences
• Social Consequences
-- Loss of marriage/primary relationship, friendships and social networks
-- Problematic relationships with spouse, family and/or significant others
• Emotional Consequences
-- Depression, anxiety, fear, etc.
-- Suicidal thoughts, plans and/or attempts (70% have thought about it)
• Physical Consequences
-- Injury due to frequency and type of behaviors
-- Sexually-transmitted diseases
-- Unwanted pregnancies or abortions
-- Sleep disturbances
• Legal Consequences
-- Arrests for sexual crimes (voyeurism, lewd conduct, etc.),
-- Loss of job, licensure, and/or professional status
-- Sexual harassment charges
-- Fines, legal fees, probation, or incarceration
-- Being on the Sexual Offender Database
• Financial Consequences
-- Costs of pornography, prostitutes, and phone sex can cause financial hardships
-- Loss of productivity, creativity and/or employment
-- Loss of career opportunities
-- Bankruptcy

3. Efforts to Stop
• Repeated specific attempts to the behavior, which fail
• Even after multiple life changing consequences, the sex addict cannot stop -- Leads to further frustration, anger, shame and depression
-- Frustration fuels further episodes of addictive behavior)

4. Loss of Time
• Significant amounts of time lost doing and/or recovering from the behavior

5. Inability to Fulfill Obligations
• The behavior interferes with work, school, family, and friends
• High-risk behavior is continued despite responsibilities and expectations
• A pattern of broken promises and failures

6. Ongoing Desire or Effort to Limit Sexual Behavior
• Repeated but futile attempts to change, limit or stop addictive behavior
• Breaking promises to change, limit or stop behavior
• Cross Addictions: substituting or transferring another addiction to aid in stopping or controlling sexual cravings
-- Workaholism
-- Overeating
-- Alcohol abuse
-- Illegal and prescribed drug abuse
-- Compulsive gambling
-- Religious Addiction
-- Romance addiction

7. Preoccupation (Obsession about or because of behavior)
• Sexual obsession and fantasy as a primary coping strategy
• Elevated levels of arousal are used to cover up feelings
• Sex becomes a primary drug to numb, "medicate" and/or regulate emotions
• Sex is used to block out painful and unpleasant memories
• Euphoric Recall or "Sex in the head" maintains the fix whenever needed
-- Secretive mental images of past sexual acting out, which is used to sexually act out again
-- Its like having a personal collection of pornography to be used at any time

8. Escalation
• Amounts of behavior increase because the current levels no longer satiate cravings
-- Higher "dosages" are needed to get the same feeling/excitement.
-- Can cause self injury
• Masturbation to the point of injury
• Asphyxiation
-- Increased levels create victims

9. Severe mood changes around sexual activity
• Depression, anxiety, anger, and other mood/affective states can result from repeated failures to stop or control the
addictive behavior
• 70% described chronic feelings of depression
-- Other chronic mood or affective states include:
• Anxiety
• Guilt and shame
• Anger at self and others
• Hopelessness and despair (monitor suicidal ideations)
-- Mood changes may be "medicated" (hidden) through the use of other drugs or medications

10. Compulsive Behavior
• Sexual behavior that you want to stop but you can't
• A pattern of out of control behavior over time
• Sex becomes the organizing principal of daily life
• Everything revolves around it
-- On sexual obsessions and fantasizing
-- On planning next event
-- On sexual acting out (some spend 8 hours a night on the internet)
-- On covering up or making up for lost time
-- Addressing consequences of sexual behavior

11. Losses
• Losing, limiting, or sacrificing valued parts of life
-- Hobbies, family relationships, and work
-- Loss of important personal, social, occupational or recreational activities
-- Loss of friends and family (loss of relationships)
-- Loss of long-term relationships
-- Loss of talents, goals, and personal and professional aspirations

12. Withdrawal
• Stopping behavior causes considerable distress, anxiety, irritability, or physical discomfort.
• Usually lasts for about 14 days, but can be as long as 10 weeks
-- Insomnia
-- Headaches and/or body aches
-- High or low sexual arousal and/or genital sensitivity
-- Increased appetite for food
-- Chills, sweats, shakes and/or nausea
-- Rapid heartbeat and/or shortness of breath
-- Intrusive dreams
-- High level of anxiety and irritability
-- Emotional lability (roller coaster feelings)
• Some sex addicts with a chemical dependency report that withdrawals are worse for sex addiction than for drug/alcohol addictions